Do you ever find yourself feeling as if life is controlling you, rather than you controlling your life? Do you ever wonder what the meaning of your life is, only to continue on living life by default?

The reason we end up in this kind of rut is because we have lost sight of our values. When we reconnect to our core values, we are better able to control our lives by making conscious choices based on what we hold true. When we have buried or lost sight of these values, we not only allow daily events to determine our actions, but also, we become unhappy, frustrated, or disillusioned.

For example, Mary a wife and mother of two valued spending time with her family, yet she continued to work long hours at the office. At the end of the day, she had spent so much energy working, not much is left for her spouse and children. The little things became bothersome and extremely irritating, and occasionally, Mary would lose her cool. Soon after, her frustration turned into guilt and embarrassment. Mary realized that something needed to change, so she began working with a life coach who suggested she work on excavating her values.

Excavating our essential values is a good way to gain control and lengthen our fuse. Your essential values will serve to guide our choices and create a greater sense of fulfillment. Try this exercise and see the results.

Exercise: Set aside 30 minutes out of your day. Brainstorm a list of your values. Then, reflect on a time when you were really living out one or two of these values, and write down how this experience felt. Based on this reflection(s), go back and circle three values you believe are the most important to you. Throughout the week, take a little time to reflect on these values and reward yourself when you have acted accordingly. As a reminder, place these values on post-it notes and put them all around your work and home environment. Eventually you will begin to align your actions with your values, and you will feel a greater sense of calm, control, and fulfillment.