For the price of your monthly car payment you can buy an iPod. It will store your music and video. If you go on vacation, it will store the shots from your cameraunless you have one of those ancient critters that uses film.

The last feature strikes at this old mans heart. You can store a mess of pics and view them on the iPod while on vacation.

Its a fact that I would buy an iPod in a heartbeat except for the fact that when I go on vacation that after Im down the road exactly thirty-seven miles I realize that Ive forgotten my camera.

I never turn back to get it. That is contrary to the teachings of the Church of the Old Geezer. I go into a gas-station store or a Wal-Mart-type store and buy one of those throwaway cameras that they keep next to the checkout stand for forgetful old men.

Thats why I cant have an iPod.

Well, there are other reasons. I could never figure out how to use it, remember to charge the battery, and keep it in my pocket except when I throw my shirt into the washing machine.

Anyway, if I did have an iPod I would just lose it. I would be spending all of my time looking for the darned thing instead of fulfilling my destiny to write trivial articles like this one.

This brings us to the purpose of this article: What should one do if his or her iPod is lost, stolen, or out for repair. Here is a list of things to do while scheming to get your folks to fork up the dough to buy you another iPod:

Write that term paper for your English Class that was due last week.

Call your friend and see if you can borrow his iPod for a week or so until you get yours replaced. If he says, No Way! remind him of the photos you took of him making out with the sister of a mean, ugly, short-tempered guy.

Go to the library. That is the big brick building that has books. Have the nice lady tell you how to checkout a book. Take the book home and read it. Make sure you have the librarian help you find something you will like. Dont take home a copy of The French Revolution: the early years this early in your reading. Try The Complete Grimms Fairy Tales for starters.

Fire up your old Boom Box. Turn it to the highest volume. Your parents will breakdown and buy you a new iPod.

Well, that aught to do it!

The End